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| i never write on here anymore, because i don't really know what i want to say. or more accurately, i know exactly what i want to say and exactly how i'd say it, but i just can't do it. because that would be mean, or it would blow my cover, or it surprise people. and looking back on my old posts, all that anonymous stuff is kind of a load of bull anyway.
school has been stressful, but not that bad actually. my individual success in band has been pretty confidence building. even practicing during second and sometimes seventh period isn't enough to get through all the commitments i have for both clarinets, the jazz solo karlin asked me to do, all-state auditions, and the dumb Cal State honor band music. it's a good feeling to have so much to do and to actually be doing a good job.
marching has been stressful. sometimes i feel inadequate as a section leader, but i think i've done a pretty good job. if people don't want to win, that's their problem. but really, i hope some people get their act together. but overall, the marching season time crunch hasn't even been too bad. i guess i'm used to it.
classes are good. calc BC is hard, but i'm getting good grades on everything and i feel like i understand it. econ and lit are always interesting and thought provoking.
i've spent my whole high school career not saying things to people because i wanted to avoid conflict. this time i really think i'm right though. waiting is probably the best alternative, because putting more pressure on a person never elicits the desired response. i just have to wait until all this college and marching bidness is over, and then things will be all go. i mean really-- what's not to love here? i am a cool cool dude and you know it.
song of the day: "fake tales of san francisco" by arctic monkeys. | | |
| today would sound suckish based on a factual description, but really it was a good day. this morning i actually got up when my alarm went off, had a leisurely morning, and made it to school on time for once. sounded hella good on the Bb clarinet today... Eb, not so much, but seriously was digging my tone on the Bb. then during symphonic band there was a fire evacuation, so we went out into the monsoon.
wait a sec, what?! yeah, a monsoon has struck union city. what the hell. but since i like the rain, not too bad. kind of provided a different perspective... yeah mr. ryan, i am using your trademark.
anyway, calculus was normal and entertaining. then journalism and then ECON. power went out, so we had a lackluster "discussion" about growth which degenerated into mr forrest recounting old backpacking stories of his to us. also, i got the beatles remasters promised to me, which really rocks my socks. uh, yeah.
after english i went home to get some stuff for the wind symphony rehearsal, which ended up being cancelled. drove around in the rain for a while, got really braindead and went to starbucks.
ok, honestly, could someone give me coffee drinking advice? normally i wait too long and then the coffee is cold, so today i started sooner and burned my tongue. having trouble working out the timing on this... but it kind of sucked because i didn't get the intended caffeine boost.
tonight i've got some homework, which i've actually been keeping up on. yay for not slacking off.
this week is going to be pretty busy. if anyone needs community service or is interested in helping me out, i'm doing my eagle scout community service project this sunday at kitayama elementary school. good way to get some easy service hours and do me a HUGE favor.
i'm kind of living in limbo right now but hopefully things will improve. just gimme the benefit of the doubt dude and things will be very very cool. you'll enjoy it.
song of the day: "feeling good" by muse. | | |
| lately a common topic in mr. ryan's class has been how perspective alters everything. the postpostmodern thought method.
ok, so i don't really know. obviously things are different from my perspective. if you could take a walk in my shoes, you know, really walk in them, maybe you'd understand. but the fact of the matter is that your information is wrong. it's hard to ascertain anything about a person if you're under the wrong impression, which you are.
i'm waiting for that phone call because whether you say so or not, or believe so or not, my words are important, and they're important to you. i'm an honest person, and i have convictions, and i'm responsible and respectful. and above all else, if there was one person i would not lie to, it's you. after everything we've been through and everything you know about me it's insulting to hear you jump to conclusions so quickly, especially the sort you jumped to.
just wait for me. things are usually not what they seem, but this is totally different. the way you think things are, well, it's a polar opposite from the truth.
so honestly now. do you really think i'd say those things? really?
song of the day: "no rest for the weary" by blue scholars. | | |
| wanting what you can't have not once, but twice every single day is really really unpleasant. it sucks. i can't believe i'm still in the spot i was in freshman year. goddamn i hate being single.
life is pretty interesting, although this week has been depressing. not to be misleading, it was awesome too but you know... having some of your closest friends move away to college when you're stuck at an incompetent shithole of a high school can kind of get you down. on monday night i went to the giants game with my dad and some family friends. wednesday night was the arctic monkeys concert with maureen which was really pretty sick even if their setlist had some shortcomings. and last night we attempted to have a quentin tarantino marathon, but only made it through reservoir dogs which is a fucking SICK movie.
i'm hella tired from staying up late every night doing stuff and then getting up for zero period every day. school is alright. eb clarinet is kind of tough but not even as bad as i thought it was. calculus is hard. no surprises there though. english is always hilarious with mr ryan.
seriously though. could really use a good break with one of two people. one of two and i don't even care which one.
Song of the Day: "Walking With A Ghost" by Tegan and Sara | | |
| because i'm going to see the yeah yeah yeahs this thursday, and then the arctic monkeys on the sixteenth.
concerts rule dude.
song of the day: "Secret Door" by Arctic Monkeys | | |
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